Greetings yet again, dear readers. I must warn you that this blog post has a TVMA or internationally equivalent rating. Viewer discretion is advised. Just kidding. We're all adults ... tehehehe ...
Anyhow, the point of this blog is just to provide a little commentary on having a mind that strays from less than pure thoughts. A mind that functions with many filthy paths of divergent, tri-vergent, tetra-vergent considerations. A mind that just can't accept that which is in front of it is not at all Freudian. A mind that is dirty, dirty, dirty.
Now, in the majority of societies this is somehow labeled as wrong or inappropriate, and understandably so. It's not exactly good manners to talk about genitals and primordial impulses at the dinner table. As humans, we have built complex social systems that, by an large, have helped civilize us and maintain "good behavior" we have thus coined as etiquette and manners. Avoiding strife and suppressing animal urges that corrode social conventions are ways we seek to keep society stable.
But let's face it. Humans are still animals and no matter how many times the most religiously fundamental people self-flagellate to rid themselves of satanic prurience, nasty thoughts always find their way through. And in my case they make several special guest appearances! Rather than try to dismiss these thoughts of mine (which would be like trying to fit a blue whale into a fish bowl), I just embrace them! After all, good Jewish boys and girls learn that sex is a pleasurable blessing ... of sorts. So it should be okay, right?
A mitzvah ("good deed") if you will. I mean, Monica Lewinsky, for example, just wanted to enjoy her work day a bit more! Do you know how tedious government jobs in Washington, DC can be?? She only wanted it to be more fun and not bring down a nation; merely to perform her good deed for the day ... and the next one and the next one and the next one and the next one... (ooh, reeeoww!!! Mean!) So, to paraphrase this into a youthful rap line that I could market to various school districts in the Bible Belt from Georgia to Arizona in order to provide a MUCH more fun alternative to Abstinence Only education,
"If it puts a smilez on yo' face/then it ain't no dis-grrrace. And if u go wit' da flow it don't make u no h^e. So if u luv hur, best use a rubberrr."
It's a genius PR campaign that also makes kids think twice before getting any number of venereal diseases, the worst and most untreatable of which results in a screaming, membrane-covered being called a baby making its entrance into the world after nine months (wow, everyone went all silent on that one. Was it something I said?)
But seriously, having a dirty mind is really not all that bad. I've always liked to let my mind wander a bit more to formulate a bit of entertaining creativity so I don't get bored. I wish I could say why I do that, but it could be any number of things. From some sort of potentially innate dementia to coming from a family where the men end up being overly-schooled, imaginative, and fact-obsessed versus sports-heavy and brawny, you name it. Whatever it is, it's all about making seemingly implicit observations, no matter how outlandish or elaborate they may be interpreted by you. Uttering forth that twisted giggle at the right moment is always the end goal.
Yet, just because I am afflicted with a dirty mind, does not mean I enjoy seeing graphic sexual images on every street corner or TV station (that's only occasional...). So I would not thank Sesame Street for telling us that today's Halloween episode was "brought to you by the letters S & M!" and sponsored by the National Endowment for Erotic Bakeries. I just made that up, but imagine if that were real! Okay, it would still be funny, although very child unfriendly, but I hope you see my point.
There are even arguments to say that having a reasonably dirty mind makes one sharper. As Tracy Clary-Flory from salon.com states, a dirty mind allows for good mnemonic ability:
"Most of the difficulties people have with memory are not that they forget completely, but that they find memories difficult to find. The key to finding a memory is to make it bright and attention-grabbing in the first place. Sex, of course, tends to grab our attention." (http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/03/21/dirty_mind)
Indeed this has certainly rung true for me. As a pre-teen/teen I participated in geography competitions and am still currently able to identify most any country or region based on its shape, even on topographical maps. Sure, everyone says that you can remember Italy because it looks like a boot kicking a stone, but what about less easily identifiable Bangladesh with the, uh, flowing waterways of the mouth of the Sacred River Ganges ...
Okay, that was a bit of stretch, but you can't ignore the very, uh, "tadpole" shape of southern Thailand and peninsular (even that previous word ...) Malaysia ...
And just think how far you can go with capital names! But of course, you have to mix the dirty with the clean or it just goes too far. Yes, the main Japanese island of Honshuu really resembles a boomerang. Let's not transform that boomerang into something else!
See isn't geography fun! And you can make any subject or topic "polymorphously perverse" as Freud would put it ... although with some it may be more challenging than others and you should control your enthusiasm in the classroom. I digress.
As far as my time in Petersburg is concerned, having a dirty mind has actually helped me laugh at life here (some are pretty obvious). The alternative is to be serious and unhappy. Thus, my wandering camera lens has helped keep me sane and I leave you with some very ... interpretive pictures. ;)
Anyhow, the point of this blog is just to provide a little commentary on having a mind that strays from less than pure thoughts. A mind that functions with many filthy paths of divergent, tri-vergent, tetra-vergent considerations. A mind that just can't accept that which is in front of it is not at all Freudian. A mind that is dirty, dirty, dirty.
Now, in the majority of societies this is somehow labeled as wrong or inappropriate, and understandably so. It's not exactly good manners to talk about genitals and primordial impulses at the dinner table. As humans, we have built complex social systems that, by an large, have helped civilize us and maintain "good behavior" we have thus coined as etiquette and manners. Avoiding strife and suppressing animal urges that corrode social conventions are ways we seek to keep society stable.
But let's face it. Humans are still animals and no matter how many times the most religiously fundamental people self-flagellate to rid themselves of satanic prurience, nasty thoughts always find their way through. And in my case they make several special guest appearances! Rather than try to dismiss these thoughts of mine (which would be like trying to fit a blue whale into a fish bowl), I just embrace them! After all, good Jewish boys and girls learn that sex is a pleasurable blessing ... of sorts. So it should be okay, right?
A mitzvah ("good deed") if you will. I mean, Monica Lewinsky, for example, just wanted to enjoy her work day a bit more! Do you know how tedious government jobs in Washington, DC can be?? She only wanted it to be more fun and not bring down a nation; merely to perform her good deed for the day ... and the next one and the next one and the next one and the next one... (ooh, reeeoww!!! Mean!) So, to paraphrase this into a youthful rap line that I could market to various school districts in the Bible Belt from Georgia to Arizona in order to provide a MUCH more fun alternative to Abstinence Only education,
"If it puts a smilez on yo' face/then it ain't no dis-grrrace. And if u go wit' da flow it don't make u no h^e. So if u luv hur, best use a rubberrr."
It's a genius PR campaign that also makes kids think twice before getting any number of venereal diseases, the worst and most untreatable of which results in a screaming, membrane-covered being called a baby making its entrance into the world after nine months (wow, everyone went all silent on that one. Was it something I said?)
But seriously, having a dirty mind is really not all that bad. I've always liked to let my mind wander a bit more to formulate a bit of entertaining creativity so I don't get bored. I wish I could say why I do that, but it could be any number of things. From some sort of potentially innate dementia to coming from a family where the men end up being overly-schooled, imaginative, and fact-obsessed versus sports-heavy and brawny, you name it. Whatever it is, it's all about making seemingly implicit observations, no matter how outlandish or elaborate they may be interpreted by you. Uttering forth that twisted giggle at the right moment is always the end goal.
Yet, just because I am afflicted with a dirty mind, does not mean I enjoy seeing graphic sexual images on every street corner or TV station (that's only occasional...). So I would not thank Sesame Street for telling us that today's Halloween episode was "brought to you by the letters S & M!" and sponsored by the National Endowment for Erotic Bakeries. I just made that up, but imagine if that were real! Okay, it would still be funny, although very child unfriendly, but I hope you see my point.
There are even arguments to say that having a reasonably dirty mind makes one sharper. As Tracy Clary-Flory from salon.com states, a dirty mind allows for good mnemonic ability:
"Most of the difficulties people have with memory are not that they forget completely, but that they find memories difficult to find. The key to finding a memory is to make it bright and attention-grabbing in the first place. Sex, of course, tends to grab our attention." (http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/03/21/dirty_mind)
Indeed this has certainly rung true for me. As a pre-teen/teen I participated in geography competitions and am still currently able to identify most any country or region based on its shape, even on topographical maps. Sure, everyone says that you can remember Italy because it looks like a boot kicking a stone, but what about less easily identifiable Bangladesh with the, uh, flowing waterways of the mouth of the Sacred River Ganges ...
Okay, that was a bit of stretch, but you can't ignore the very, uh, "tadpole" shape of southern Thailand and peninsular (even that previous word ...) Malaysia ...
And just think how far you can go with capital names! But of course, you have to mix the dirty with the clean or it just goes too far. Yes, the main Japanese island of Honshuu really resembles a boomerang. Let's not transform that boomerang into something else!
See isn't geography fun! And you can make any subject or topic "polymorphously perverse" as Freud would put it ... although with some it may be more challenging than others and you should control your enthusiasm in the classroom. I digress.
As far as my time in Petersburg is concerned, having a dirty mind has actually helped me laugh at life here (some are pretty obvious). The alternative is to be serious and unhappy. Thus, my wandering camera lens has helped keep me sane and I leave you with some very ... interpretive pictures. ;)
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| Cougars that wear lingerie. Like Kim Cattrall or Demi Moore. |
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| Rabbits celbrate Valentine's Day too? |
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| What? It's just a woman holding a drill. |
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| The id. |
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| Tsk, tsk. The architects of the Petersburg metro apparently think age is "just a number" |
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| The old woman found some...maracas. |
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| Well, at least we know that sexual harassment has been a problem in the Russian military since the days of the Soviet Union. |
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| I really can't tell about this one. I think that this means that religion is important and that CEO was spelled incorrectly in a vertical fashion meant to imitate scriptural forms of East Asian languages. That must be it. |
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| Analysis ... |
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| "Soft play" |
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| No, this just means that animals like to be ... friends and enjoy .... partnership. |
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| Just looking for ... where he put his glasses? |
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